Reloading: A blog series in which I'll discuss games, movies, and other entertainment outside of a standard review setting. And, no, it just so happens that the topic is what it is, didn't quite plan for that.
Generation 8 of video games has pretty much been on an
active venture to outright piss me off. First off is the focus of entertainment
hubs and SLIGHTLY better graphics on top of the lies, DRM, and DLC business
practices we’ve already had. Second is the fact it’s taken a year for just
about every console to produce anything worth mentioning, and some even longer.
And lastly is the major lack of backwards compatibility, which seems to be
encouraging developers like Square Enix… and mostly Square Enix to re-release
games. Not just re-release them, but to also pick the ones they had previously
said FAILED to make enough money on their initial release. So… re-release and
hope that the extra money spent on porting them will be recouped along with the
money already needing to be recouped?
This pisses me off but it also makes me come off as an
anti-remake person, which isn’t true because we’ve seen plenty of re-makes or
re-imaginings that have improved the original product. Dawn of the Planet of the Apes was a fantastic example along with
Peter Jackson’s King Kong (I know you
all don’t like it, but I thought aside from length, it was quite alright). The
point is not to remake something that’s only a year or two old at best because
we need more time to build an appreciation for it or for the technology that
exists to be unable to play it properly. A remake of Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion wouldn’t go unheard of so that my PC can
finally manage to play it properly without crashing on a random sound-bug that
I can’t fix.
All that being said, I thought I’d take a more constructive
approach to my “re-release/re-make bashing” instead of just telling Square
Enix, Microsoft, and Sony to collectively fuck off in EA’s cum-bucket. So this
week I’ll propose ten games I’d like to see a re-release / re-make for that
actually deserve it.
#10 – Mega Man – You
can literally put any basic Mega Man
title in there or Mega Man X title in
there and it would apply. While the original games have their charm, they’re
fairly outdated and a modernization of their graphics and gameplay mechanics
would not be a terribly bad idea. This is low on the list because we are
getting Might No. 9 which is
basically a Mega Man game in everything
but name. It’s even made by the same creator of Mega Man. 
#09 – Prince of
Persia: Sands of Time Trilogy - Gameplay
wise, these games were just shy of perfect. Plot wise, these games were all
interesting. Graphics wise, none of them were bad, but they could all stand a
nice touch-up (especially Warrior Within, but that’s mostly an aesthetics
problem). While I’m leaving this low on the list simply because it isn’t
necessary (or likely given Ubisoft’s obsession with Assassin’s Creed and pretending women don’t exist). But I wouldn’t
be opposed to a re-release to make all the games play better/smoother, look
better and sharper (and cleaner), and ultimately have the issues in each individual
game fixed up a bit. Take the combat mechanics of the later games and add them
to the first. Maybe re-do the dialogue of the third game with the writers and
actors of the first. Maybe take a soapy dish-rag and just scrub Warrior Within until all the grunge,
blood, and emo is wiped away from it.
#08 – Naruto Clash of
Ninja 3 and 4 – This is a
personal bone to pick, but one I very much wish to have. The Clash of Ninja games are a mixture of great and stupid, but they’re
all ultimately fun (especially if you’re a Naruto-fan like myself). That being
said, CoN 3 and I think CoN 4 were never released outside Japan
as they were instead localized as the Wii games Clash of Ninja Revolution. While missing out on these games ISN’T
that big a deal, there are some characters we’ll never get to play as in the
US-games because of the lack of localization (namely the Sound 5 Ninjas).
Granted, I’m not saying we HAVE to have a re-release, but perhaps a DLC pack or
a new Clash of Ninja Revolution on
the WiiU that features these characters would solve all the problems. … Seriously,
how come there hasn’t been a new Clash of
Ninja game in years?
#07 – DuckHunt –
Is it stupid to ask for a game that, in modern times, would just be a Cabela’s
Hunting game? The answer is, “Probably, but fuck off, I’m asking for it anyway!”
From what I recall, there’s only ONE game in this “franchise” and it was a
pack-in with the original Super Mario
Bros. I think it’d be an interesting arcade/downloadable game re-release to
update the graphics to something like you’d see in Bastion or Dust: An Elysian
Tale where it looks very pretty, 2D or otherwise. Maybe have skin-packs and
mod-packs so that we can shoot Green Goblins or dragons that look like Randy
Savage while Zelda’s castle is in the background. There really wouldn’t need to
be lots of effort on this game and you could get away with what I mentioned
above for about $10 asking price.
#06 – Pokemon Yellow –
This gets to be on here for two very specific reasons. First, it was my
first game that I owned and beat. Second, Red and Blue got their remakes and
now we’re getting to Ruby and Sapphire before we even consider looking at
Yellow? I want another go with Team Rocket (the TV show one). I want another adventure where Pokemon follow me
around and think I’m an asshole. Maybe have the remake allow for Misty and/or
Brock to follow me along. Maybe add in those stupid filler towns like
Hop-Hop-Hop Town so we can have more battles and pointless side-quests as well
as fill out the map. And, of course, include the Orange Islands are as well
(complete with Tracey Sketchit so we can all complain about what a piece of
shit he was while he follows us around and gets stuck on world geometry). 
#05 – Sonic 2006 –
It’s an absolutely horrible game… in so many ways. But underneath all of the
clutter and stupid decisions that went into making this title, you can see some
genuinely interesting, if not good, ideas mixed into the steaming shit pile
that was once Sonic the Hedgehog. The fact the game was rushed and made during
the early years of Console Generation VII (when we hadn’t really grasped how to
make great games for said consoles yet) led to the games ill-fated aborted
train-wreck that was so bad, it aborted itself from the
Sonic-the-Hedgehog-canon. But a remake of the game that worked to actively fix
all the small problems with the title, clean up the look of the game, and
pretty much make it the Sonic Adventure 3
game were all promised would be amazing and certainly make SEGA look a lot
better than they have been recently.
#04 – Eternal Darkness:
Sanity’s Requiem – This was one of the few gems of the Gamecube that made
it one of the best consoles ever made. A dark and surprisingly creative venture
into the depths of insanity and magic at the hands of elder Gods as you journey
across different time-periods through the lives and fighting styles of
different holders of the Tome of Eternal
Darkness as they solve the mysteries and unravel the full story. I recently
replayed it and while I still like the gameplay and story, the game looks like
total ass and it makes it hard to really SEE anything in the game, especially
when rooms become cluster fucks and the camera decides to play tricks on you
like looking at things in stupid angles (and that’s when the game isn’t playing
tricks on you).
Aside from looks, the gameplay could use an update as well
to add more variety in the physical combat as well as the spells and enemies. A
ground-up remastering of this game for modern consoles (WiiU and PC included)
would be absolutely amazing and probably end up being one of the best games of
all time… if only Nintendo and the former Silicon Knights could make up, be
friends, and come to an agreement of who can make the game and who can’t. 
#03 – Avatar: Legend
of Aang, Burning Earth, and Into the Inferno – Tie-in games are
generally shit and these games were… very underwhelming (to keep this clean).
They weren’t great, but not nearly as bad as M. Night Shaymalan’s
cancer-causing film based on the same property but really had little to do with
anything Avatar related. So why
mention these other than my fanboyism for the Avatar series? Because should the upcoming Platinum-produced game Legend of Korra be even the slightest
bit good/fun/interesting to play… then I’d love to see how Platinum would
remake these games or improve upon them to be less bland, boring, and shit.
Fingers-crossed that Platinum will do us proud for Legend of Korra. 
#02 – Several Dreamcast Games – The ones that come to mind
are Skies of Arcadia, Crazy Taxi, Jet Set Radio, and Panzer’s
Dragon. While the latter was spiritually remade or succeeded by Crimson Dragon on the XBone, it’s not
necessarily the same thing (and where’s the love for Crazy Taxi?). Basically, my problem is that SEGA is sitting on a
virtual gold-mine of properties they haven’t really done shit with in YEARS and
have spent all their time buying Atlus, doing fuck-all with the Yakuza localizations, and ruining Sonic the Hedgehog. SEGA… maybe TRY and
give these other properties a spin on the current generation of consoles? They
were all unique and genuinely interesting enough where you’d probably get sales
just on that alone. Factor in nostalgia and that these were all (for the most
part) good games and you’d probably be everyone’s favorite son again. 
#01 – Chrono Trigger
– If you know me, you should have known this game would be on the list. With
Square Enix being the sole cause of me pitching a fit on this “DEFINITIVE
EDITION” crap they’re pulling for Tomb
Raider 2013 (Re-released for 2014 consoles) or Sleeping Dogs or the inevitable (not yet confirmed Hitman Absolution, it’s not a surprise
that an old Square Enix game not only makes the list but basically tops the
list to boot. While none of the other games mentioned are, by any means, BAD,
if Square has any title in their backlog that could stand a modern-day from the
ground-up re-release/re-make, I can’t think of a better candidate than Chrono Trigger (other than many the Super Mario RPG or Secret of Mana). Before you say anything else, NO, not to a degree
where it’s like FF13. I’m thinking
just update graphics to what the current consoles can render. Leave the CORE
gameplay and story alone. And if there’s time after updating the sounds and
visuals, THEN expand for more side-missions, characters, story, and so forth to
fill in the big gaps that large empty 3D world would likely have.
Re-releases and re-makes should not just be done absent-mindedly like how Square, EA, and the like HAVE been doing it. We should use the tool that is re-releasing in a positive way aside from just making money on nostalgia (which really isn't even being done right in the recent Sleeping Dogs/Tomb Raider 2013 remakes). It should be to improve on what couldn't have been done with older technology. It should be to improve on the ideas or concepts that didn't quite work the first time around. It should be done on games or properties that haven't been looked at or touched in years to maybe bring them to a modern era or new audiences. Re-releasing a year or two year old game simply to make a quick buck is insulting and EA, Square, Sony, and Microsoft need to stop this bullshit and start giving us games from this generation FOR this generation or do re-releases and re-makes properly.
No comments:
Post a Comment