Reloading: Done With Ubisoft

It’s finally happened. There’s a game publisher other than EA I can finally say I absolutely hate. I’d even go so far as to say that they are probably WORSE than EA. Not because they employ worse business practices or underhanded tactics to make a quick buck. But because they produce relatively GOOD games while simultaneously jumping ship and stabbing others in the back without concrete and justifiable reasons. They’re a company that will be your friend one minute and then sell you down the river the next. EA never tries to be your friend and we can all see their cheap tactics a mile away. But Ubisoft? 

If I could personify various game companies, EA would be the bully on the playground who is after everyone’s money. Ubisoft, similar to EA, is the cute and seductive girl (or boy) on the playground that feigns friendship and companionship so you’ll let your guard down and get close to them. They tell you want you want to hear and you might even get a taste of what you actually want. But before you get too complacent in enjoying what you’ve got, they pull the rug out from under you, throw mud in your eyes, or just slit your throat when you aren’t looking.

At the start of the console generation, Ubisoft was up front and center claiming they believed the WiiU was a valuable system and that they would support it with a slew of titles. This seemed like a great sign the WiiU would be getting third-party support. They even released a great game, ZombiU for the console, which was surprising that it was not only good, but that it was a 3^rd –party launch title. That’s generally unheard of for launch titles. It was so good that almost every WiiU fan who bought the game is wanting to have ZombiU2 or some kind of sequel. No one was clamoring for Red Steel 2 in the droves they are for Ubisoft’s little undead gem.

So, yes, at first, it seemed like things were on the up-and up and that we could expect a buddy companionship between Ubi and Nintendo… then things got messy. Rayman Legends was originally made to be a WiiU exclusive by Ubisoft, which seemed like a pretty cool deal and an excellent fit for the usual console’s audience. But then it got delayed… repeatedly… why? Because they wanted to make versions of it for other consoles as well. And while that last part is fine, the WiiU version of the game, the original version of the game, was pretty much done and ready to be released. We’ve seen PLENTY of other games get timed-exclusivity and release on other devices prior to being on all of them. So why the fuck did they think holding back an otherwise finished game to make versions for other devices was a good idea when the development of the other games had NO IMPACT on the development of the WiiU version?

Then came the shit that was Watch_Dogs. Not only was this game overhyped to death, marketed in the most offensively aggressive manner to the point of nausea, and given the most confusing and stupid pre-order offers in gaming to date… but it got delayed multiple times for all consoles. Eventually, Ubisoft made the call that they’d release all versions… except the WiiU, which would be delayed to an unknown date…. And is still not out yet. And while my complaining about Ubisoft and desire to prove them wrong would dictate I should by Watch_Dogs to prove to them that it’s the kind of game that CAN sell on WiiU… I don’t want Watch_Dogs because the game didn’t look good to me to begin with back when I didn’t think it would be coming to WiiU and when I expected it to only be on PS3, Xbox 360, and PC (two of which I have and can play it on now if I wanted).

And let’s not forget Assassin’s Creed IV. A game that has been considered the best in the franchise to date… It did come to WiiU… but not the DLC. Additional content that would need to be paid for was not getting released to the WiiU port of Assassin’s Creed IV (a game that basically printed money). I never got into Assassin’s Creed all that much. I played a couple of the games on PC (before any were on the WiiU) and I just didn’t like them. They were slow, boring, and a far cry from something more engaging like… Prince of Persia or Far Cry.

Lastly, there’s Ubisoft’s most dick-headed move in this entire relationship. At E3 (or some other convention earlier this year) Ubisoft had announced they did have a COMPLETED game for WiiU that was a family-friendly game. BUT they refuse to tell us what it is or even consider releasing it until the WiiU sells more units. And this is where we can see that Ubisoft’s culls and charms are nothing more than a façade. They stopped having any interest in supporting Nintendo ages ago and have only been stringing them along.

Here’s the thing. If Ubisoft genuinely WANTED Nintendo’s console to perform well, they wouldn’t have made such a boldly stupid statement like the one above. Innovators drive the market. If Ubisoft had faith in their product and genuinely thought the WiiU was the best platform for this unnamed vaporware, they would have given us a name or teased it. They would just bloody release it instead of holding it hostage until Nintendo meets their satisfactory number of customers who likely won’t give a fuck at this point because they’ll move on to something less bullshit. And the worst part is, last I looked, the sale numbers for WiiU are either ahead or matching the Xbone, a console which Ubisoft is more than happy to support without question, blindly neglecting the fact that doing so doesn’t make any sense by their logic.

If Ubisoft wanted to sell more games on the WiiU, they should be offering more games on the WiiU than another bloody Assassin’s Creed (a series that wasn’t on Nintendo until Ass-Creed III, which is considered to be one of the worst ones). They should be offering more than Watch_Dogs, which is/was a new IP and an unproven concept that should have been expected to sell well from the start. You know what the WiiU DOES need more of? Prince of Persia, FarCry, and Trials would be great additions to the Nintendo line-up of games, and I’m sure there are plenty more in Ubisoft’s catalog that they aren’t even considering because reasons.

I’m not sure WHY Ubisoft decided to jump on the “Nintendo hater” wagon or why they have to be so two-faced about it. I’d be perfectly content if they chose to not do ANYTHING for Nintendo. But I can’t stand this bullshit of half-assing everything. They say they’ll support the console… but only when it’s convenient. And only with ports and sequels to games that have existed on other platforms, but never a Nintendo platform… and only ones that have made millions of dollars, not older ones we haven’t used in forever or ones that, god forbid, make sense to put on the WiiU.

EA not supporting Nintendo isn’t a surprise to anyone given the likely history they had they won’t share. EA wanted Nintendo to be Origin exclusive, and Nintendo said no. So it’s not surprising that the only noteworthy game EA released for Nintendo (and likely ever will) is Mass Effect 3, a game that made absolutely no sense to release on the WiiU without re-releasing the first two games… and that only pisses me off more they released a Mass Effect Trilogy bundle… which never saw its way to WiiU for no logical reason.

I look at developers like Platinum or Sega and at least remember that not all developers are intolerable pricks. There are a couple companies that have actually taken risks to put their stuff on the WiiU and, in some respect, that has paid off and we’ve gotten some quality games out of that (with more possibly on the way). Bayonetta 2 and Sonic Boom both look like interesting titles, and I can’t wait to see how they turn out.

But as for Ubisoft? Fuck em. I can handle people being assholes. I can handle liars. But this two-faced nonsense that’s been going on this entire console generation has gotten old. I’m done with Ubisoft games entirely (unless I buy them used, which I know they hate). Congratulations, Ubisoft! You’re the only company other than EA who has gotten this dubious honor. Be proud in the knowledge that from this day forth, you will no longer get a single cent from me until I’ve seen your ways have changed…

… with a special exception for RedLynx because I see no need to punish the small developer under Ubisoft’s thumb… See ya next time.