Reloading: Sonic (go) Boom Review

So… Sonic Boom. I know you guys saw this review coming… sooner or later. 

First, good news and bad news. Yes, I’m getting the review out on a relatively timely manner. Bad news, because I had a limited amount of time with the game (and because my brain shut off after maybe 30 minutes into each session of the game) I didn’t get too far into the full game. But don’t think I can’t review a game just on the first quarter or first half of the experience. After all, I’ve followed the philosophy that if you can determine a game, film, or form of entertainment is bad before it is done, you’re critiquing more efficiently.

I guess I just spoiled the review there, didn’t I? Yes, it is no surprise that Sonic Boom is indeed bad. As bad as Sonic 2006 which we only discussed a few weeks ago? Yes and no. It’s not as buggy, doesn’t have as many issues in functioning properly (that I’ve noticed), and its plot is… well… they’re both bad, but Sonic Boom at least didn’t have Sonic making out with a girl from Final Fantasy for reasons. That’s not that much of a win, but I suppose it still counts for something.

Before people go and blame Sonic Team (the usual Sonic-game developer) for this travesty, it was actually a new developer molesting the blue blur, BigRedButton. They deserve an some kind of special recognition for undoing all the goodwill Sonic Team has gained for the franchise in the past few iterations and basically setting Sonic fans back to square one (which is basically a loss in confidence in the series and an unwillingness to buy new games until months later when they’re cheap only to find out they might be good, but the sales didn’t translate, causing SEGA to panic back home, leading us back to this song and dance in a few more years).

To their credit, the game does do SOME things right that I actually complained about in previous games from Adventure and Adventure 2 all the way to Lost Worlds. Not all my complaints to this point have been fixed, but I can’t crucify the game without at least acknowledging the good aspects first. For starters, no human characters outside of Robotnik exist. All NPCs are now anthromorphic creatures like Sonic and friends, giving the world a consistent feel so we don’t have to see realistic humans next to an obviously cartoon rat.

Another thing I enjoyed was not only can we play as more than just Sonic, but the fact we can actually switch between them in the levels. While that ends up being a mostly pointless endeavor (explanation later) I will at least say the thought to give us the option counts for something (outweighed by many negative somethings). But their redesigns are actually alright and it’s a shame the game isn’t good enough where these designs could have become popular. I especially like the redesigns for Tails and Amy and certainly hope they stick around.

Lastly, unless I’m mistaken, the “Lives System” is gone. Yes, that stupid relic of a mechanic that dates back to the arcades has been stripped away. I can’t say the system implemented here is all that great, but it sure beats having to put up with lives, game overs, and several loading screens to get back to playing the game again. If there are other good things I missed due to my quitting the game early… here is an itemized list of why I don’t care:

Time Travel again? Are you fucking serious? It was a stupid idea in Sonic 2006 and it’s a stupid idea now. Even more so by the fact the same Grandfather Paradox occurs where Sonic creates his own worst enemy again (previously Shadow’s fault, but same difference really). But Sonic would know of his existence without finding the villain trapped there in the first place… but he’s only trapped there because Sonic went back in time. Do you see why this is a problem? Stop writing this bullshit and make a halfway decent story for once.

Everyone basically plays the same. Yes, some have alternate moves, but they can all run at basically the same speed, jump, and have two methods of attack (one “special” and one basic). So while having the option for multiple characters is great (they do have SLIGHT differences) it all feels very hollow and pathetic. Where are my treasure hunting segments? Why doesn’t Amy have more hammer combos? Why can’t Tails use a laser?

On top of the combat mechanics, there seems to be a lack of a dodge button. This is a game that’s abandoned the fun-run high speed antics of Sonic games in favor of a boring and repetitive as shit brawler game with a camera that doesn’t really work well for it. And BigRedButton couldn’t be bothered to implement a simple dodge mechanic? It doesn’t have to be Bayonetta levels of fancy (I understand you aren’t Platinum) but you can at least give something. We’re playing supposedly fast characters, so them being able to dodge slow robots makes sense both on a narrative level and a mechanics level for a combat game.

While I have nothing against the redesigns of the characters for the most part, I am going to complain about Knuckles on two accounts. First, visually, he looks stupid. I get more muscles, that’s fine. But seeing him with fingers just looks all kinds of bizarre. Plus the proportions where he towers over the other members of Team Sonic with his tiny little legs and gigantic shoulders doesn’t… really look right. At all.

But what pisses me off more about Knuckles is how they turned him into a big lumbering idiot. I get Knuckles was gullible at times. But he was never an idiot. Just stubborn and gullible. This, does not an idiot make. But the game constantly throws the jokes poking fun at Knuckles being stupid. Not only are these jokes old after the first one, but I have to ask why they had to redo the personality for the character as well? How would you like it if I made a Spiderman film but took away all the nerdiness of Peter Parker to make him an arrogant prick who becomes an obnoxious prick when he puts on the mask… OH WAIT

Once again Robotnik is relegated to being a secondary villain in a series he helped make popular. I don’t even care they call him Eggman anymore. Just have him being the main villain and stop upstaging him with lesser characters. The “Fearsom Five” from Lost Worlds were shit. Lyric is shit. And Mephiles was incredibly shit. Either design a good villain to replace Eggman or just use motherfucking Eggman and move on.

The inclusion of Shadow the Hedgehog is the biggest fan-wank I’ve ever seen. Not only does his appearance not make sense in the context of the alternate universe (seriously? No bandages for him? He too cool for bandages?). But the big issue I have is he becomes an even bigger rip-off of Vegeta than he already was (and I don’t particularly care for DBZ). He just appears during one of the early stages and gives Sonic shit for being weak and saying he can’t save the world. Then he forces the two of them into a fight for no actual reason. I was under the impression that, after all the games we’ve done, Shadow had a better temperament than this. I guess not.

Certain items can only be unlocked by connecting the 3DS and WiiU game. If either game was good, then perhaps connectivity features would be nice (like Pokemon Stadium or Smash Bros 4). But when one (or both) games are shit, it feels more like a cheap cash grab because you managed to shovel two piles of shit onto your fans instead of just the one all for a gimmick that doesn’t really even matter.

Said gimmick you unlock though is removing the ring cap of 100 in exchange for being able to hold more rings. But can I ask why there is even a ring-cap in the first place? It functions as your health, and I get that (even if it’s a stupid repurposing for rings). But why not keep rings what they were before in previous games, currency? Instead we have new “Robot Parts” as currency, which doesn’t really make less sense, but it does kind of seem like an unnecessary change.

Other changes have been made that only serve to confuse long-time fans. The first and most peculiar being the change in design to the checkpoints. Why change something we, as long time fans, can visually recognize in an instant into something that looks like just another part of the landscape or that looks like an interactive puzzle element? Again, this change doesn’t enhance the game or make it feel unique. It just makes running into it more confusing .

This isn’t really a complaint (yet). But Metal Sonic looks fucking impressive from a visual standpoint. So can I ask why every other robot looks like shit? Or why most of the rest of the game has an inconsistent visual quality? Did you guys just blow the budget on Metal Sonic and decide, “fuck it, we can just slap the rest of this shit together?”

While I’m complaining about visuals, Framerate issues seemed to pop up from time to time. This is an issue that isn’t prevalent in the good Sonic games (hell, even an average Sonic game performs decently. In consistent visuals and framerate issues? Sonic Colors ran better on the Wii! An older game that should have more dated graphics and on lesser hardware? Explain to me how that is possible in this scenario?

More on visuals, all the levels thus far look boring. All the running sections look the same. All the platforming sections look the same. Nothing is visually distinct. This is a far cry from… well… most any Sonic game ASIDE from Sonic 2006 where most levels are design TO FEEL UNIQUE. Yes, you have cliché levels like a fire world or an ice world. But the fact is everything felt so unique and different that you were never bored by the visuals. Sonic Boom decides that variety is a waste of time and makes everything look the bloody same (or so similar that it’s hard to really remember where I was when jumping back into a game or where I was going).

Voice acting is almost back to Sonic Adventure levels of humiliating. But I don’t know how much I can really fault the voice acting when I feel the problem lies more with…

The writing is near George Lucas levels of bad. How bad are we talking? “Hey, look! Ramps!” says Tails. “Hey, ramps! We can jump on the ramps!” says Sonic as they’re running in some kind of underground sewage thing. Or basically ANYTHING Knuckles says. I get that the game is targeted for kids. But I feel SEGA either has a really negative view on the intelligence of children as a whole, or they legitimately intended for this game to be sold exclusively to toddlers who probably can’t hold the Wii U Gamepad (probably) and retards.

Why does the game not support ProControllers? The only thing you use the touchscreen for is for some kind if “Detective Mode” that you have in this game which could easily be put on one of the trigger buttons (all of which do the same thing, so you’re wasting three buttons as it is). I say this because currently, I’ve played all of Bayonetta 2 and several hours of Smash on the ProControllers I have right now and still have a nearly full battery charge. Meanwhile, I can’t get through most game sessions without needing to recharge the Wii U Gamepad. I love the gamepad to an extent, but if the touchscreen controls really aren’t much of anything and I don’t want to waste its batteries, than why am I bothering with it?

The first level of the game opens with a cutscene. Then you get brief moments of gameplay where you learn the controls for the running segments (sort of). But before you can really try to enjoy the running segment, you get another cutscene. The first five to ten minutes of the game feels more like a short film than an actual game. And while I have nothing against cutscenes (in theory) game design dictates you shouldn’t frontload them so much. The goal is to get players interested in the game. But if I’m not playing it, how can I get interested? Every other Sonic game I can think of (save for a couple of the other bad ones) drops you into the first level in less than a minute (two tops) of the story mode starting. And the next cutscene doesn’t interrupt your game until you beat the level. You only get away with this if your cutscenes are entertaining (which we established with the bad acting, writing, and visuals… it certainly isn’t).

It feels sluggish and slow. Sonic games are about accomplishing goals quickly and that all falls flat when the fastest you can move is a light trot. There’s a fast-travel system (which makes NO SENSE for a Sonic game). But it costs money to use. Money that should be spent on upgrades that… well… I haven’t really noticed what they do… so I guess spend whatever you want.

Basically, things boil down to the fact that the game isn’t fun. Sonic Lost World for all its problems, had moments where I could say I was having fun. Sonic Generations was nothing but fun. Sonic 2006 had so many bugs and issues, but I could have fun messing with the horrid bugs and glitches, and Sonic Boom just doesn’t have that many issues. So, no, it isn’t the worst game of Sonic to exist, but I couldn’t will myself to finish the game because it was literally putting me to sleep. I tossed it aside for a more fun game like Transistor or Shovel Knight, both of which I would happily recommend of Sonic Boom without question. 

End of the day, if you’re a Sonic fan, you’re likely to be disappointed with a lot of interesting ideas that just didn’t turn out that interesting. If you’re not a Sonic fan, you can resume being an asshole to Sonic fans who have had their dreams of another fun game crushed before their eyes. If you’re someone sexually aroused by Sonic for reasons I can’t possibly understand… Um… I guess go back to playing Sonic Generations you miserable sod.

That is all for Sonic Boom. I’m disappointed it didn’t turn out better. It wasn’t as bad as I expected given all the reviews out there. But it’s boring and the developer didn’t seem to understand what made a Sonic game fun. I have some fun games lined up to review next (just have to finish them). Until then, I’ll see you next time for more fun content. As always, if you enjoyed this and want to see more content like it, please be sure to like, comment, share and subscribe.