Majestic Twelve - Witches

So a game I’ve been excited for, for a long time (Bayonetta 2) is FINALLY out for the WiiU (the only console currently worth owning). To that fact, and because Halloween is still approaching, why not do a top 12 featuring the best witches in fiction? No, I have not played all the games or seen all the Japanimes to know all the witches, but here are twelve that I like. So shut up and enjoy. :D 

#12 – Marge Simpsons (and sisters) – No, it’s not canonical, but The Simpsons Halloweens specials are always fun and one I remember fondly is the origin of Halloween where Salem-Marge is revealed to be a witch. In this story, Marge and her sisters decide after the reveal they’ll terrorize the town and steal the children to eat. Surprising almost no one, Flanders makes them an offer of sweets instead. The witch-sisters liking the idea decide to go out and do this every year. It’s a cute story and the jokes made at the concept of the Salem Witch Trials and really the belief in witchcraft in general was fairly amusing.

#11 – Rita Repulsa – Does this really count? She’s the main villain of the original Power Rangers and I think goes on for a while before being replaced by someone else, at least in the American adaptation (don’t know about the original Japanese series, so can’t attest to that). But she summons various types of monsters to fight the defenders of Earth and fails just about every time. While I think Ivan Ooze was more fun and Zed just had a better design, Rita was around for a while and is an undeniably big part of the early years of the series. So, yeah, I guess she deserves a spot here.

#10 – Regina Mills / Queen Raveanna – Okay, there’s not any real consistency with this character across different sources of fiction. The original antagonist from Snow White, the evil queen who goes by Regina in Once Upon a Time and is given the name in the live-action version of Snow White and the Huntsmen. Again, I’m not sure how much this counts as certain versions depict her with more magical abilities while others depict her just having access to magic items, which indicates she isn’t really a witch herself. But at least these two versions of her are magical and evil and witch-like. So, here ya go.

#09 – Twinrova – The two sisters who appear across multiple Zelda titles (most famously known for their appearances in Ocarina of Time and Majora’s Mask (the better one)), Koume and Kotake fuse together to form Twinrova, which is one of the many bosses Link encounters in his quest to stop Ganondorf from stealing the Triforce. Capable of powerful fire and ice spells and being a general pain in the ass, Twinrova is certain an interesting boss and is built up of some interesting characters. Course I still find it amazing how they are villains in one timeline and simple shopkeeps in another. Only major difference is how Ganondorf is dealt with.

#08 – Yzma – The main antagonist of one of my personal favorite animated Disney films Emperor’s New Groove, Yzma is more of a mad scientist. But according to Wikipedia… she’s considered a witch. Okay, sure. She can be thrown on the list. Most of her appeal comes from having to put up with the bumbling but comical problems caused by Kronk. But her demeanor and sinister plans are entertaining on their own and she’s basically the perfect villain to a protagonist like Kuzko (who is not really that great a protagonist).

#07 – Zoe Benson – For those who have watched American Horror Story: Coven, I imagine just about anyone could make this list from that show with ease. But if I had to pick one… it’d have to be Zoe. Why? When a mutant like, for example, Rogue, discovers her mutant powers, she sent a guy into a coma from a kiss. When Zoe Benson discovered she was a witch… it was when she caused a guy to orgasm… and he died of an exploding aneurism. That alone is ridiculous, evil, kinda hot, but ultimately a sign of an interesting witch-character.

#06 – Witches of Oz – There are three main witches of which I speak. You have a good witch (Glinda), a bad witch (Theodora), and another bad witch who is flattened by a house (Evanora). While two of those three names aren’t added until later films, plays, or books, fact is you really can’t have one without the other. Glinda was always there to balance out the misdeads of the Wicked Witch of the West (Theodora). Evanora helped in creating the Wicked Witch (depending on which version of the canon you subscribe to) so her role is somewhat vital in the grand scheme of things. And without a Wicked Witch at all, the plot of the Wizard of Oz would basically be boring as hell. But someone who commands an army of evil monkeys, can summon a field of poison, and terrifies most of the land of Oz is certainly someone worthy enough to be on the list.

#05 – Free – The anime/manga Soul Eater is a series of witches and witch-hunters. And while a good number of witch-characters would have been fine for this list, my personal favorite was Free who was also something like a werewolf. He’s a big clumsy oaf with an all-powerful magic eye that grants him immortality. He also has some pretty good ice-magic powers to boot and is a critical piece of Medusa’s plan to overthrow the witch-hunters. But, as I said, he’s also clumsy enough where he accidentally froze himself when trying to cast an ice-magic-attack. So not always perfect, but a fun character to watch cause havoc. And, no, Blair was not picked because she's technically not a witch. She's a very sexy magical-cat... man I never thought I'd have to say that sentence. 

#04 – Bellatrix Lestrange – Only two Harry Potter characters are good enough to make the cut. Bellatrix is one of them. Ranked lower simply because she’s a detestable human being with most of the crap she pulls, she’s still an astonishingly good character with great powers and is terrorizing to most of the wizarding world. As one of Voldemort’s most powerful associates, most would be hard pressed to find witches more impressive or dangerous than her…

#03 – Sabrina Spellman – Okay, I’ll admit it. When I was younger I admittedly liked this show (Sabrina the Teenage Witch) quite a bit. The talking cat was fun. The aunts where fun. Sabrina wasn’t full of just teenage high school angst and felt like a genuine character for the most part. The special effects were fairly good considering it was a TV show in the 90’s. And, yeah, I did think Sabrina was cute/hot but many years have passed and I’ve outgrown the show. But it had lots of interesting ideas going on and that doesn’t undermine the fact that it was fun. After all not all witches have to be evil psychotics.

 #02 – Bayonetta – Moving on from that, we have a witch who is psychotic, but a force for good. I actually don’t believe she’s psychotic, but it’s hard to tell with the fact she’s summons demons from her hair… which also makes up her clothes. So when she gets into a tizzy she appears mostly naked for parts of a fight. Bayonetta is a polzarizing character as she is sexy, confident, and one of few female characters with a degree of agency that is insanely uncommon (ESPECIALLY in videogames). That being said, a good degree of her design and games come off as pandering to the male-gaze (or female-gaze if that’s what you’re into). But I think that’s because Bayonetta (as a character) is purposely putting on a show and inviting that gaze. It’s one of those “look, don’t touch” kind of deals. But more than that, the air she gives off and the general attitude she brings to the game hints at something more. It’s not that you can’t touch her. She’s inviting you to try if you think you’re able to handle her. And given her murder-count of angels and demons, I’d say very few (if any) could measure up to her standards.

#01 – Hermoine Granger – I feel this is a bit of a cheat. But if she wasn’t in the top five I’d probably have been shunned by all the cool kids. But being one of the main heroes of Harry Potter and being a strong female character to boot, I think Hermoine deserves recognition and will get so with the top spot on Majestic Twelves Best Witches. She’s a genius in just about all kinds of magic. She’s saved lives of Harry, Ron, and many others time and again. And she is capable of holding her own in a fight. Female empowerment, am I right? But she is also an actual character, and one that grows from a very two-dimensional character that was basically the nerd-character. And we see her growth alongside Harry and Ron over the course of seven years… and that’s really something you don’t see too often. 

Those are the best witches in fiction. If you think you have some ones we missed out on, let us know in the comments. Have great day and see you for one more week of horror-filled fun. :D